Handkerchief Codes in BDSM

Handkerchief Codes in BDSM

Handkerchief Codes in BDSM: A Guide to a Unique System of Communication

Handkerchief codes, also known as “hanky codes,” are a colour-coded system originally developed in the LGBTQ+ community in the 1970s to communicate personal sexual interests and preferences discreetly. In the BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism) community, the codes serve a similar purpose, allowing individuals to indicate specific kinks, fetishes, and preferences without the need for verbal explanation. This system has helped people within the BDSM community navigate preferences and boundaries, often in social settings where direct communication about kink might be difficult or even stigmatised.

Origins of the Handkerchief Code

The handkerchief code originated in gay communities, particularly within leather and BDSM subcultures, as a covert way to communicate interests and roles. At a time when open discussions about non-normative sexual practices could result in serious social, legal, or physical consequences, the code offered a solution. Over time, it has evolved into a rich language of colour and placement, adopted widely within BDSM and leather communities.

How the Handkerchief Code Works in BDSM

In BDSM, the handkerchief code remains fairly straightforward in concept:

   - Colour: The colour of a handkerchief signals the specific kink or fetish of interest.

   - Placement: The side of the body on which the handkerchief is worn indicates whether the person is a “top” or “dominant” (left pocket) or a “bottom” or “submissive” (right pocket).

For example:

   - A black handkerchief in the left pocket would indicate a dominant interest in S&M (Sadism & Masochism).

   - A grey handkerchief in the right pocket would signal that the wearer is a submissive interested in bondage.

Common Colours and Their Meanings in BDSM

Here are some of the handkerchief colours and their traditional meanings in the BDSM context:

   - Black: S&M (Sadism and Masochism)

   - Grey: Bondage

   - Red: Fisting

   - Yellow: Water sports (urine fetish)

   - Light Blue: Oral sex (top left, bottom right)

   - Dark Blue: Anal sex

   - Green: Financial exchange (sugar baby or sugar daddy/mommy roles)

   - Purple: Extreme play or piercing

   - Orange: Anything goes or a general willingness to experiment

Over the years, new colours and patterns have emerged to cover a broader range of interests, from electrostimulation to pet play. This evolution demonstrates how handkerchief codes have adapted to encompass the diverse array of BDSM practices and preferences.

Using Handkerchief Codes Safely

Handkerchief codes can open the door to consensual conversations about kink, but it is essential that they’re used with respect for boundaries and safety. Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind:

   - Consent and Communication: The code is an invitation for a conversation, not a commitment. Always ask before assuming that someone’s handkerchief signals willingness for immediate engagement.

   - Avoid Assumptions: Even within the BDSM community, people may wear specific colours for aesthetic or playful reasons, so it’s important to approach with open communication.

   - Respect Privacy: Some people wear handkerchiefs as an affirmation of identity rather than as an invitation for interaction. Particularly in public, respectful and discrete communication should be prioritised.

Why the Handkerchief Code Matters Today

While the popularity of digital platforms has reduced the need for in-person, non-verbal cues, handkerchief codes remain an important part of BDSM and LGBTQ+ heritage. For many, wearing a handkerchief serves as a connection to a shared history, a source of pride, and a way to celebrate kink and queerness. The code also remains in use within leather and BDSM events, where it fosters community and provides a visible means of self-expression.

In BDSM, as in the larger LGBTQ+ community, the handkerchief code stands as a historic marker of resilience, creativity, and solidarity. It is more than a language of colour—it’s a legacy, allowing people to safely express and explore identities, interests, and desires in environments where they feel safe and understood.

Nicholas Jardine 13/11/2024