Glossary | The Aftercare Lounge

All titles highlighted will take you to the relevant article to read more information.

What does 24/7 mean in BDSM?

A relationship characterised by continuous protocols and dynamics.

Animal Transformation Fantasy:

What does Animal Transformation Fantasy mean in BDSM?

A fantasy where the focus is on the submissive entering an altered mental state of a different species, such as a dog, cat, or horse.

What is an abrasion?

The wearing, grinding, or rubbing away of skin through friction.

What is Aftercare in BDSM?

The period of time after a BDSM scene or play session where participants calm down, discuss the events, process their reactions, and transition back to reality. Proper aftercare is important to ensure emotional well-being and prevent sub-drop.

Ageplay:

What is ageplay in BDSM?

A form of role-playing where participants intentionally act an age different from their own, often younger, as agreed upon before a scene.

Animal Play:

What is animal play in BDSM?

The submissive acts and/or dresses like an animal, such as a puppy, cat, pony, or cow.

Auctioned off:

What does Auctioned off mean in BDSM?

The act of a Dominant auctioning off a slave to the highest bidder, usually under supervision and for a temporary period.

Bad Pain:

What is Bad pain in BDSM?

Pain that goes beyond agreed limits, is non-mutual or non-valued, unwanted, and offers little or no value within the given context. Good pain refers to pleasant, desired, and mutually agreed-upon pain, similar to the difference between post-workout soreness and accidentally stubbing a toe.

Bastinado:

What is Bastinado in BDSM?

The act of whipping the sub's feet, often while restrained, as a form of impact play.

BDSM:

What does BDSM Mean?

Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. An acronym used to encompass various activities and relationships within the kink scene.

Bondage:

What is bondage in BDSM?

Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner, ranging from partial to total restraint.

Bottom:

What is a bottom in BDSM?

The recipient of physical sensation from a top in a scene.

Bratty Submissives:

What is a bratty Submissive?

A Bratty Submissives is a type of BDSM label, in which a sub (in most cases) enjoys misbehaving to their dom, caregiver, etc.

Brat Tamers:

What is a brat tamer?

A brat tamer is a dominant within the BDSM culture who disciplines a naughty or disobedient submissive partner ,also known as a brat.

Breast Bondage:

What is breast bondage?

The act of tying the breasts in a way that flattens them against the chest or causes them to bulge.

Breast Torture:

What is breast torture?

Torture or stimulation of the female breasts.

Breath Control:

What is breath control in BDSM?

The dominant partner controls the submissive's breathing.

Butt Plug:

What is a butt plug?

A pear-shaped anal toy with a flared base to prevent it from getting lost inside the anal cavity. It can come in different sizes and may vibrate. Sometimes used in pet play with an attached tail.

Cane/Caning:

What is caning in BDSM?

A common BDSM toy and activity involving striking someone with a cane, usually on fleshy areas of the body. Caning is also popular on the bottoms of the feet.

Chastity:

What is chasisty in BDSM?

A form of erotic sexual denial where a person is prevented from accessing or stimulating their genitals, usually with a device like a chastity belt or cock cage, controlled by their partner.

Cock and Ball Torture (CBT):

What is cock and ball torture?

Torture or stimulation of the male genitals for sexual gratification.

Collared:

What does collard mean in BDSM?

Refers to a submissive or slave who is owned, typically within a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple individuals collared. It can also refer to the status of a pup, distinguishing them from a "stray."

Collaring:

What is collaring in BDSM?

The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service or the "ownership" of a pup by a Master or Trainer. It can also refer to a ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub, similar to a wedding or contract.

Consent:

What does consent mean in BDSM?

Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.

Consensual Non-Consensuality:

What does consensual non-consensual mean?

A mutual agreement that, within defined limits, consent will be given without prior knowledge of the exact actions planned. It requires trust, understanding, and clear safe limits between partners.

Contract:

What is a contract ion BDSM?

A written agreement between the dominant and submissive, formal or informal, outlining the structure, guidelines, rules, and boundaries agreed upon in their relationship. It is not legally binding.

Corset/Tight-lacing:

What is a corset ?

A fetish that explores power exchange and shape-changing through the use of corsets, which can sometimes restrict breathing.

Cupping:

What is cupping in BDSM?

A practice where heated glass cups are placed on the skin, creating a vacuum as they cool, resulting in a bruise-like pattern. It can also potentially break the skin if done intensely or with excessive heat.

Daddy Dom:

What is a Daddy Dom?

A Daddy Dom embodies the role of a paternal figure within a relationship, often displaying traits of protectiveness and firmness, while also exhibiting affection and understanding. Frequently inquired about.

Degradation kink:

What is degradation kink?

A degradation kink is the opposite of a praise kink. In this one, someone is highly aroused and sexually satisfied by having a partner say degrading, insulting and humiliating things to them.

DM:

What is a DM in BDSM?

Dungeon Monitor, a person responsible for supervising interactions and enforcing rules at BDSM events or play parties. They may also help facilitate the smooth running of the event.

Dominant or Dom:

What is a Dominant in BDSM?

A person who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, contrasting with the submissive partner.

Dom Drop:

What is Dom Drop?

Dom drop in BDSM refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that dominants may experience after intense scenes or activities. Similar to sub drop, it's caused by the energy expended in maintaining their role.

Domme:

What is a Domme in BDSM?

A woman who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, also referred to as a Dominatrix. Some prefer using non-gendered terms like dom or dominant.

Drop:

What is drop in BDSM?

A feeling of deflation or mild depression that occurs after a kinky scene, party, convention, or conference. It is often caused by the removal of positive stimuli and endorphins associated with play or being in the presence of the kinky community. It can affect individuals in any role within the BDSM community.

D/s:

What does D/S mean in BDSM?

Dominance/submission, referring to play or relationships involving an erotic power exchange.

Dungeon:

What is a dungeon in BDSM?

Typically a designated space equipped with BDSM furniture and tools for engaging in BDSM activities and play.

Edgeplay:

What is Edgeplay?

SM play that involves a significant risk of harm, either physically or emotionally. The definition of edgeplay varies based on individual preferences, so there is no universal list. However, some common forms of edgeplay include foreplay, gunplay, rough body play, breath play, and bloodplay.

Electro-Play:

What is electro play in BDSM?

The practice of using electrical stimulation to stimulate the nerves of the body for sexual pleasure, body modification, tickling, or torture. It involves the use of power sources like TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or specialised devices designed for play.

Endorphin Rush:

What is endorphin rush in BDSM?

Endorphins are chemicals that create a euphoric "high" and are released during intense experiences. BDSM activities, particularly those involving sensation play, can trigger an endorphin rush, providing a reward to the submissive. Aftercare is important to prevent sub drop as the body returns to its normal state.

Enema:

What is an Enema?

The act of cleaning the anal cavity and rectum, often considered a fetish preference.

Erotic Sexual Denial:

What is erotic sexual denial ?

Keeping someone sexually aroused while delaying or preventing their release, creating a state of heightened anticipation, tension, and sensitivity. It can be part of tease and denial play or chastity dynamics.

Erotic Spanking:

What is erotic spanking?

The act of spanking another person for sexual arousal or gratification for one or both parties involved.

Fetish:

What is a fetish?

A specific obsession or delight in an object or experience that creates sexual arousal or gratification.

Fetlife:

What is Fetlife ?

A social networking website similar to Facebook, specifically catering to the kink community. Users can share pictures, statuses, writings, find local groups, make friends, and organise events.

Figging:

What is figging?

The practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina for its stimulating effects.

Fire Play:

What is fire play is BDSM?

The use of fire as a tool in BDSM activities. This can involve directing the heat from a torch onto a submissive's body, lighting pools of fuel on the skin, using flash cotton, and other creative uses of heat. Cupping is sometimes considered an offshoot of fire play, although it is more similar to the use of clips and clamps. Fire play is generally considered edgeplay.

Fisting:

What is fisting?

The act of inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.

Floggers/Flogging:

What is flogging?

Floggers are a common BDSM toy consisting of a handle and multiple tails made from materials like leather, suede, or hair. Flogging can produce a range of sensations, from sharp stings to heavy thuds. It is best suited for areas of the body with ample flesh, such as the upper thighs, buttocks, or upper back (but not the lower back). Floggers come in various sizes and can have different numbers of tails, often named accordingly (e.g., cat-o'-nine-tails).

Genitorture:

What is genitorture in BDSM ?

The practice of inflicting torture or intense sensation on the genitals.

Good Pain:

What is good pain in BDSM?

Pain that is consensually agreed upon and desired by the submissive partner, viewed as enjoyable or valuable by them.

Golden Showers:

What are golden showers?

The act of urinating on another person or being urinated on by another person.

Gorean:

What is Gorean?

A subgenre based on the rituals and practices depicted in the erotic novels of Gor by John Norman. Gorean culture often involves stereotypical gender-based roles, which some consider to be in conflict with the principles of BDSM that allow freedom for individuals to assume any role regardless of gender (e.g., Dom/sub or Top/bottom).

Handkerchief Codes:

What are handkerchief codes?

Visible signals used to indicate one's BDSM interests; wearing a specific colour on the left signifies a top, while on the right signifies a bottom.

Hard Limits:

What are hard limits?

Activities or practices that someone absolutely refuses to engage in, non-negotiable boundaries (in contrast to "soft limits").

Harem:

What is a harem?

A group of submissives serving one or more dominants.

Hogtie:

What does hogtie mean?

The act of restraining a submissive's wrists and ankles, securing them together behind their back using physical restraints like rope or cuffs.

Humiliation Kink:

What is a humilation kink?

It refers to the "recurrent and intense sexual arousal from the act of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviours.

Impact Play:

What is impact play?

A type of sensation play that involves delivering impacts using implements such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, and similar items.

K-9 Roleplay:

What is k-9 Roleplay?

Animal roleplay where the focus is on role-playing as a dog.

Kinbaku:

What is kinbaku in BDSM?

Also known as Shibari, it is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM that utilises visually intricate patterns created by tying the bottom with thin ropes.

Knife Play:

What is knife play in BDSM?

The deliberate, methodical use of knives to sensually stimulate the bottom, often without cutting the skin. The psychological impact of the weapon is an important element in this type of play.

Limits:

What are limits in BDSM?

Activities or practices that someone is unwilling to engage in (hard limits) or hesitant to try (soft limits).

Littles & Middles :

What are littles & Middles in BDSM?

"Littles" and "middles" are BDSM roles involving age regression. Littles exhibit childlike behaviors with caregivers, while middles show a mix of youthful and mature traits. These roles are consensual adult role plays and do not involve real minors.

Maintenance:

What is maintenance in BDSM?

Regularly scheduled spankings or disciplinary actions given to the submissive to address minor issues, reinforce proper behaviour, and allow the Dominant to release stress.

Masochism:

What does masochism mean?

The enjoyment or sexual arousal derived from receiving pain or discomfort.

Masochist:

What is masochist?

A person who derives pleasure or sexual gratification from experiencing pain, often in a consensual BDSM context.

Master/slave:

What are masters and slaves in BDSM?

A consensual power exchange relationship where one person (the Master) assumes control over another (the slave) for mutual benefit. This type of relationship often involves a 24/7 dynamic rather than being limited to specific scenes or periods of time. The slave may receive a collar from their Master as a symbol of ownership.

Medical Play:

What is medical play in BDSM?

Role-playing or scenes involving medical equipment, aesthetics, and tools. It may include activities such as needle play and/or play piercing.

Mommy Domme:

What is a mommy domme in BDSM?

The Dominant partner in a D/s relationship who assumes a nurturing, caretaking role.

Mummification:

What is mummification in BDSM?

The process of immobilising the body by tightly wrapping it with multiple layers of thin plastic sheeting. Proper precautions must be taken to ensure breathing and safety, typically leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) uncovered. Mummification often enhances a sense of complete bodily helplessness and can be combined with sensation play.

Munch:

What is a munch in BDSM?

A social gathering of BDSM enthusiasts in a non-kinky setting, often a restaurant or café, where participants interact and socialise while dressed in regular attire ("vanilla" clothing).

Needle Play:

Whats needle play in BDSM?

The temporary insertion of sterile needles of various gauges into the body, typically for the duration of a scene.

Nose Torture:

What is nose torture in BDSM?

A BDSM practice, often originating from Japanese culture, that involves engaging in activities focused on the nose, such as the use of nose hooks.

Nyotaimori:

What is nyotaimori?

The practice of using a person's body as a platter to serve sushi.

OTK:

What does OTK mean in BDSM?

An abbreviation for "Over the Knee," commonly used in the context of spanking.

Painslut:

What is a pain slut in BDSM?

An individual who derives pleasure from experiencing a significant level of pain, regardless of their enjoyment of submission.

Pegging:

What is pegging ?

A sexual practice in which a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a man's anus.

Play:

What does play mean in BDSM?

A verb used to indicate engaging in BDSM activities, or an adjective used to describe specific BDSM interests. Examples include "needle play," "play piercing," "age play," and "play party."

Play Party:

What is a play party in BDSM

A gathering or event within the BDSM community where multiple people engage in scenes and BDSM activities.

Play Piercing:

What is a play piercing in BDSM?

The temporary insertion of needles into the flesh for sensory stimulation or aesthetic purposes. Piercings may be arranged in designs across the body, or needles may be attached to strings or other objects to enhance sensation.

Pleasure Doms:

What is a pleasure dom in BDSM?

A "pleasure Dom" in BDSM is a Dominant partner who focuses on giving their submissive partner pleasurable and sensual experiences.

ProDom:

What is a prodom in BDSM?

A professional male dominant who provides BDSM services in exchange for payment.

ProDomme:

What is a prodomme in BDSM?

A professional female dominant who offers BDSM services in exchange for payment.

Pony boy / Pony girl:

What is a pony boy or pony girl in BDSM?

A BDSM role-playing scenario where the submissive is dressed as a pony, complete with a mouth bit and an anal plug with a tail. They are instructed to prance or behave like a pony.

Power Exchange:

What does power exchange mean in BDSM?

The act of voluntarily transferring power, control, or sensation from one or more individuals to one or more other individuals. Consent is a fundamental aspect of healthy power exchange dynamics, regardless of their duration.

Pet Play:

What is petplay in BDSM?

Engaging in role-playing where one or more participants act as a human puppy or kitten, with elements of power exchange often involved. This may include wearing costumes and using props such as leashes, collars, and food bowls.

Primal Doms:

What is a primal dom in BDSM?

A sexual preference involving animalistic behavior during intimacy, including scratching, biting, and animal-like sounds. Dominants are called primal hunters, while subs are primal prey.

Princess submissive:

What is a princess submissive in BDSM?

The Princess submissive archetype infuses BDSM with regal elegance. They seek adoration and pampering, valuing their worth within submission.

Pussy Torture:

What is pussy torture in BDSM?

The act of engaging in activities that involve torturing or inflicting sensations on the female genital area for sexual gratification.

R.A.C.K.: An acronym for "Risk Aware Consensual Kink."

What is the meaning of R.A.C.K?

It is an approach to BDSM that emphasises awareness of the potential risks involved in various activities while ensuring all participants provide informed consent.

Rape Fantasy, Ravishment:

What is a rape fantasy , ravishment in BDMS?

The consensual role-playing or fantasy scenario involves acts of simulated non-consensual play, where one person takes on the role of the aggressor and the other person consents to be a participant in the fantasy.

Riggers / Rope Top :

What are riggers / Rope tops in BDSM?

In BDSM, a "rigger" is someone skilled in creating safe and artistic rope restraints for bondage. They focus on aesthetics and safety, using various knots and ropes to bind a submissive partner, evoking vulnerability and trust

Rough Sex:

What is rough sex in BDSM?

Sexual activity involving intense physicality, such as biting, scratching, power play, or other forms of rough and aggressive behaviour.

Sadism:

What is sadism in BDSM?

The act of deriving pleasure from inflicting pain.

Sadist:

What is a sadist in BDSM?

An individual who enjoys inflicting pain, often in a sexual context.

Sadomasochist:

What is sadomasochist in BDSM?

A person who derives pleasure from both giving and receiving pain.

Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC):

What is SSC in BDSM?

A guiding principle followed by some BDSM practitioners to ensure the appropriateness of BDSM activities. Sometimes contrasted with RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink).

Safeword:

What is a safeword in BDSM?

A pre-agreed upon word or signal used by the submissive or bottom to immediately stop BDSM activities, particularly in scenes involving consensual force.

Scat Play:

What is scat play in BDSM?

Engaging in sexual activities involving faeces.

Scene:

What is a scene in BDSM?

A defined period of time during which BDSM activities take place. It can also refer to the BDSM community as a whole ("the Scene").

Sensation Play:

What is sensation play in BDSM?

BDSM play focuses on exploring and pushing sensory limits, which may involve activities such as texture play, sensory deprivation, impact play, and edge play.

Service Top:

What is a service top in BDSM?

A specific type of top who finds their satisfaction in serving the needs and desires of the bottom, rather than deriving pleasure from sadism or dominance. See also: Top.

Sensory Deprivation:

What is sensory deprivation in BDSM?

The act of intentionally limiting or removing one or more senses from a person. Examples include blindfolding, using earmuffs or headphones, or placing a bag over the head.

Service-Oriented Submission:

What is service orinented submission in BDSM?

A Service submissive is someone who finds pleasure performing acts of service for their dominant.

Shibari:

What is Shibari?

Traditional Japanese rope bondage that focuses on aesthetic and visual appeal. Shibari utilises designated lengths and diameters of ropes. It has been adapted and combined with Western bondage styles in contemporary rope bondage practices.

Slave:

What is a slave in BDSM?

A person, typically submissive, who consensually relinquishes complete control over one or more aspects of their life to another person, known as their Master or Mistress.

Soft Limits:

What are soft limits in BDSM?

Activities or practices that someone may be hesitant or nervous to engage in but can potentially be negotiated or explored at a trial or beginner level within a scene.

Sounding:

What is sounding in BDSM?

The act of inserting metal rods or sounds into the urethral opening, typically for sexual stimulation. The term originated from a medical practice known as "sounding."

Subdrop:

What is subdrop in BDSM?

A physical condition experienced by a submissive after an intense BDSM session, often characterised by flu-like symptoms. Subdrop can last for several days and can be mitigated or prevented through proper aftercare.

Submissive or "sub":

What is submissive or sub in BDSM?

A person who willingly relinquishes control, either temporarily or permanently, in a BDSM dynamic. Distinct from "bottom" or "slave."

Subspace:

What is subspace in BDSM?

A mental and emotional state of heightened euphoria and dissociation that a submissive or bottom may enter during a scene or when under the control of a Dominant or Top. The individual may feel disconnected from time, space, and their own body, with limited ability to communicate. It is essential for the Dominant or Top to take responsibility for the well-being of the sub in subspace.

Suspension:

What is suspension in BDSM?

The practice of partially or fully lifting a person off the ground, often using ropes or other equipment. Suspension is commonly seen in rope bondage, but proper knowledge of anatomy and safety precautions is crucial.

S/M:

What is S/M in BDSM?

Originally an acronym for "Sadomasochism," S/M, SM, or S&M has become an inclusive term encompassing various forms of kink and BDSM practices.

Switch:

What is a switch in BDSM?

An individual who enjoys taking on both the role of a top and a bottom, either within a single scene or on different occasions.

Taken in Hand:

What does taken in hand mean in BDSM?

A relationship dynamic characterised by 24/7 male dominance within a monogamous marriage, with or without BDSM elements.

Tease and Denial:

What is tease and denial in BDSM?

Keeping another person in a heightened state of arousal by intentionally delaying or denying their sexual release, creating a continual sense of anticipation, inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (Also referred to as orgasm denial).

Tit Torture:

What is tit torture in BDSM?

Deliberately causing physical pain to the breasts and nipples.

TNG:

What does TNG mean in BDSM?

The Next Generation. A term commonly used by BDSM groups and organisations catering to younger individuals between the ages of 18 and 35.

Top:

What is a top in BDSM?

The person who takes the active role in BDSM activities (contrasted with "bottom," the person receiving the actions). It is important not to confuse this with "Dom," which refers to the person who orchestrates the scene. For example, a male Dom may enjoy CBT (cock and ball torture) and instruct a submissive on what to do. In this case, the Top assumes the submissive role (following the Dom's direction), and the bottom assumes the Dom role (receiving the attention of the Top).

Topping from the Bottom:

What is topping form the bottom in BDSM?

A bottom who identifies as submissive but still desires to direct or control the top during BDSM activities.

Top Drop:

What is top drop in BDSM?

An emotional, psychological, or physiological state that can occur after a BDSM scene, typically characterised by feelings of loss, loneliness, disgust, self-doubt, or sadness. Remedies may include cuddling, comforting activities, engaging in favourite hobbies, and enjoying nourishing food. (See also: subdrop).

Topspace:

What is topspace in BDSM?

Also known as "top frenzy," topspace refers to the mental and emotional state experienced by tops or dominants during a scene, characterised by a sense of all-powerful euphoria and a desire to continue without stopping. (See also: subspace).

TPE or Total Power Exchange:

What is TPE in BDSM?

A type of BDSM relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.

Training:

What is training in BDSM?

The process in which a dominant teaches a submissive how to behave and act, either within a specific scene or as an ongoing effort to shape their behaviour.

Vanilla:

What does vanilla mean in BDSM?

A term used to describe individuals who are not interested in or involved in BDSM activities. It can also refer to sexual behaviour that does not involve BDSM elements. This term is sometimes used in a derogatory manner.

Warm Up:

What does warm up mean in BDSM?

The initial phase of a BDSM scene involving gentle play, designed to prepare the bottom physically and mentally for more intense activities. Warm-up activities may help trigger endorphin production, induce subspace, and initiate physiological changes, such as bringing fluids to the surface of the skin before impact play.

WIITWD:

What does WIITWD mean in BDSM?

What It Is That We Do. A broad term encompassing all forms of alternative sexuality and BDSM practices.

Wax Play:

What is wax play in BDSM?

A form of BDSM play where the dominant drips hot wax onto the submissive's body.

Watersports:

What is watersports in BDSM?

Engaging in play involving urine, such as playing with urine or urinating on one another. (See also: golden showers).

Wartenberg Wheel:

What is a wartenberg wheel?

A device originally used in the medical field to test nerve sensitivity and response. In BDSM, a Wartenberg wheel is a small, spiked wheel that can be rolled over the skin to elicit different sensations. It can also be used in conjunction with electrical play.

Zentai:

What is zentai ?

A skintight Japanese body suit typically made of spandex and nylon, covering the entire body, including the face. While zentai is also worn by dance teams or athletes, some individuals find pleasure in the sensation of being completely covered and bound in tight fabric for kinky purposes.

The BDSM glossary will be updated frequently.