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What is a BDSM Glossary?
A BDSM glossary is a list of technical terms or abbreviations that may be unfamiliar to some readers.
24/7:
A relationship characterised by continuous protocols and dynamics.
A fantasy where the focus is on the submissive entering an altered mental state of a different species, such as a dog, cat, or horse.
The wearing, grinding, or rubbing away of skin through friction.
The period of time after a BDSM scene or play session where participants calm down, discuss the events, process their reactions, and transition back to reality. Proper aftercare is important to ensure emotional well-being and prevent sub-drop.
A form of role-playing where participants intentionally act an age different from their own, often younger, as agreed upon before a scene.
The submissive acts and/or dresses like an animal, such as a puppy, cat, pony, or cow.
Auctioned off:
The act of a Dominant auctioning off a slave to the highest bidder, usually under supervision and for a temporary period.
Pain that goes beyond agreed limits, is non-mutual or non-valued, unwanted, and offers little or no value within the given context. Good pain refers to pleasant, desired, and mutually agreed-upon pain, similar to the difference between post-workout soreness and accidentally stubbing a toe.
The act of whipping the sub's feet, often while restrained, as a form of impact play.
BDSM:
Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. An acronym used to encompass various activities and relationships within the kink scene.
Blood Choking:
The act of restricting blood flow to the brain to induce temporary loss of consciousness. Also known as "choking out," it is considered edgeplay and subject to debate within the BDSM community.
Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner, ranging from partial to total restraint.
The recipient of physical sensation from a top in a scene.
A Bratty Submissives is a type of BDSM label, in which a sub (in most cases) enjoys misbehaving to their dom, caregiver, etc.
A brat tamer is a dominant within the BDSM culture who disciplines a naughty or disobedient submissive partner ,also known as a brat.
The act of tying the breasts in a way that flattens them against the chest or causes them to bulge.
Torture or stimulation of the female breasts.
The dominant partner controls the submissive's breathing.
A pear-shaped anal toy with a flared base to prevent it from getting lost inside the anal cavity. It can come in different sizes and may vibrate. Sometimes used in pet play with an attached tail.
A common BDSM toy and activity involving striking someone with a cane, usually on fleshy areas of the body. Caning is also popular on the bottoms of the feet.
A form of erotic sexual denial where a person is prevented from accessing or stimulating their genitals, usually with a device like a chastity belt or cock cage, controlled by their partner.
Cock and Ball Torture (CBT):
Torture or stimulation of the male genitals for sexual gratification.
Refers to a submissive or slave who is owned, typically within a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple individuals collared. It can also refer to the status of a pup, distinguishing them from a "stray."
The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service or the "ownership" of a pup by a Master or Trainer. It can also refer to a ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub, similar to a wedding or contract.
Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
A mutual agreement that, within defined limits, consent will be given without prior knowledge of the exact actions planned. It requires trust, understanding, and clear safe limits between partners.
A written agreement between the dominant and submissive, formal or informal, outlining the structure, guidelines, rules, and boundaries agreed upon in their relationship. It is not legally binding.
Corset/Tight-lacing:
A fetish that explores power exchange and shape-changing through the use of corsets, which can sometimes restrict breathing.
Cupping:
A practice where heated glass cups are placed on the skin, creating a vacuum as they cool, resulting in a bruise-like pattern. It can also potentially break the skin if done intensely or with excessive heat.
A Daddy Dom embodies the role of a paternal figure within a relationship, often displaying traits of protectiveness and firmness, while also exhibiting affection and understanding. Frequently inquired about.
A degradation kink is the opposite of a praise kink. In this one, someone is highly aroused and sexually satisfied by having a partner say degrading, insulting and humiliating things to them.
DM:
Dungeon Monitor, a person responsible for supervising interactions and enforcing rules at BDSM events or play parties. They may also help facilitate the smooth running of the event.
A person who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, contrasting with the submissive partner.
Dom drop in BDSM refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that dominants may experience after intense scenes or activities. Similar to sub drop, it's caused by the energy expended in maintaining their role.
A woman who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, also referred to as a Dominatrix. Some prefer using non-gendered terms like dom or dominant.
Drop:
A feeling of deflation or mild depression that occurs after a kinky scene, party, convention, or conference. It is often caused by the removal of positive stimuli and endorphins associated with play or being in the presence of the kinky community. It can affect individuals in any role within the BDSM community.
D/s:
Dominance/submission, referring to play or relationships involving an erotic power exchange.
Typically a designated space equipped with BDSM furniture and tools for engaging in BDSM activities and play.
SM play that involves a significant risk of harm, either physically or emotionally. The definition of edgeplay varies based on individual preferences, so there is no universal list. However, some common forms of edgeplay include foreplay, gunplay, rough body play, breath play, and bloodplay.
The practice of using electrical stimulation to stimulate the nerves of the body for sexual pleasure, body modification, tickling, or torture. It involves the use of power sources like TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or specialised devices designed for play.
Endorphins are chemicals that create a euphoric "high" and are released during intense experiences. BDSM activities, particularly those involving sensation play, can trigger an endorphin rush, providing a reward to the submissive. Aftercare is important to prevent sub drop as the body returns to its normal state.
The act of cleaning the anal cavity and rectum, often considered a fetish preference.
Keeping someone sexually aroused while delaying or preventing their release, creating a state of heightened anticipation, tension, and sensitivity. It can be part of tease and denial play or chastity dynamics.
The act of spanking another person for sexual arousal or gratification for one or both parties involved.
Fetish:
A specific obsession or delight in an object or experience that creates sexual arousal or gratification.
A social networking website similar to Facebook, specifically catering to the kink community. Users can share pictures, statuses, writings, find local groups, make friends, and organise events.
Figging:
The practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina for its stimulating effects.
Fire Play:
The use of fire as a tool in BDSM activities. This can involve directing the heat from a torch onto a submissive's body, lighting pools of fuel on the skin, using flash cotton, and other creative uses of heat. Cupping is sometimes considered an offshoot of fire play, although it is more similar to the use of clips and clamps. Fire play is generally considered edgeplay.
Fisting:
The act of inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.
Floggers are a common BDSM toy consisting of a handle and multiple tails made from materials like leather, suede, or hair. Flogging can produce a range of sensations, from sharp stings to heavy thuds. It is best suited for areas of the body with ample flesh, such as the upper thighs, buttocks, or upper back (but not the lower back). Floggers come in various sizes and can have different numbers of tails, often named accordingly (e.g., cat-o'-nine-tails).
The practice of inflicting torture or intense sensation on the genitals.
Pain that is consensually agreed upon and desired by the submissive partner, viewed as enjoyable or valuable by them.
The act of urinating on another person or being urinated on by another person.
Gorean:
A subgenre based on the rituals and practices depicted in the erotic novels of Gor by John Norman. Gorean culture often involves stereotypical gender-based roles, which some consider to be in conflict with the principles of BDSM that allow freedom for individuals to assume any role regardless of gender (e.g., Dom/sub or Top/bottom).
Handkerchief Codes:
Visible signals used to indicate one's BDSM interests; wearing a specific colour on the left signifies a top, while on the right signifies a bottom.
Activities or practices that someone absolutely refuses to engage in, non-negotiable boundaries (in contrast to "soft limits").
A group of submissives serving one or more dominants.
The act of restraining a submissive's wrists and ankles, securing them together behind their back using physical restraints like rope or cuffs.
It refers to the "recurrent and intense sexual arousal from the act of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviours.