Aug 13, 20232 min read

Dom Drop

Updated: Apr 3

What is Dom Drop?

Dom drop in BDSM refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that dominants may experience after intense scenes or activities. Similar to sub drop, it's caused by the energy expended in maintaining their role.

Navigating the Abyss: Taming the Dom Drop in BDSM

In the exhilarating world of BDSM, where power dynamics, trust, and exploration intertwine, there's an often overlooked phenomenon that can cast a shadow on the most intense scenes: the Dom Drop.

While submissives frequently discuss their aftercare needs, dominants too can experience a post-scene emotional slump. Let's delve into this intriguing aspect of BDSM and explore ways to overcome it, ensuring that dominants receive the care they deserve.

Understanding the Dom Drop

The Role Reversal:

Dom drop is the counterpart to "sub drop." Just as submissives may feel emotionally low after a scene due to the sudden withdrawal of intense stimulation, dominants can also experience a similar drop in mood after they've guided a scene.

Energy Expenditure:

Dominants invest immense mental and emotional energy into orchestrating scenes, maintaining control, and ensuring the safety and pleasure of their submissives. This expenditure can leave them emotionally drained once the scene concludes.

Manifestations of the Dom Drop:

Emotional Exhaustion:

A dominant might experience feelings of emptiness, sadness, or even anxiety after the adrenaline rush of a scene subsides.

Self-Doubt:

The post-scene analysis can trigger self-doubt. Dominants might question their performance, worry about their partner's satisfaction, or ponder if they pushed too far.

Identity Blur:

Dominants often have distinct roles in BDSM, and the sudden shift from being in control to a more balanced dynamic can lead to feelings of confusion or even loss of identity.

Overcoming the Dom Drop:

Prioritise Communication:

Just as communication is essential during scenes, discussing post-scene emotions is equally vital. Establish a safe space to talk about the experience openly.

Acknowledge Your Feelings:

Recognize that experiencing the Dom Drop doesn't diminish your dominance. It's a natural response to intense emotional investment.

Self-Care Rituals:

Develop personalised post-scene self-care rituals. Whether it's a warm bath, journaling, or meditation, these routines can help ease the transition.

Reach Out for Support:

Seek support from fellow dominants, subs, or online BDSM communities. Sharing experiences can provide validation and insights on how to manage the drop.

Reflect and Learn:

Instead of dwelling on self-doubt, view each scene as a learning experience. Reflect on what worked and what didn't, and use this to refine your future scenes.

Post-Scene aftercare:

Extend aftercare practices to yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy, comfort, and relaxation after a scene. Listen to uplifting music , workout , get fresh air , practice a hobby or complete a task .

Remember, Doms Deserve Care Too

In BDSM, dominants are often seen as pillars of strength, but they are just as human as their submissives. The Dom Drop is a testament to the deep emotional investment that dominants bring to their role. By recognizing and addressing this phenomenon, we can ensure that dominants receive the care, support, and validation they need to continue thriving in their BDSM journey.