Self Collaring in BDSM

What is self collaring ?

Self-collaring in BDSM refers to an individual choosing to wear a collar as a symbol of their submissive or dominant identity without a partner's direct involvement or instruction.

Self Collaring in BDSM

Self-collaring in BDSM refers to an individual choosing to wear a collar as a symbol of their submissive or dominant identity without a partner's direct involvement or instruction.t. This practice, while embraced by many, also sparks debate and controversy within the community. 

This article looks into the reasons behind self-collaring, its appeal, and the points of contention surrounding it, offering a thorough examination of this complex topic.

The Symbolism of Collars in BDSM

In BDSM dynamics, collars are powerful symbols representing various forms of commitment, identity, and relationship status. Traditionally, a collar is given by a dominant to a submissive, signifying:

-  Ownership: A formal agreement where the submissive acknowledges the dominant's authority.

- Commitment: A mutual understanding and dedication to a power exchange relationship.

- Identity: An outward symbol of the wearer's role and relationship within the BDSM community.

Collars can vary greatly in design, from simple chokers to elaborate leather or metal creations, each carrying personal significance to the individuals involved.

Understanding Self Collaring in BDSM.

Self-collaring breaks away from this tradition by allowing a submissive to collar themselves. This practice can serve multiple purposes, each deeply personal to the individual:

Personal Empowerment: Self-collaring can be an act of self-recognition and empowerment. It allows submissives to acknowledge and honour their desires, needs, and identity independent of a dominant.

Symbol of Self-Commitment: It can symbolise a commitment to one's personal growth, self-care, and journey within BDSM, similar to a personal pledge to honour their own boundaries and desires.

Navigating Singlehood: For submissives who are without a dominant partner, self-collaring can provide a sense of continuity and connection to their submissive identity, offering stability and a personal anchor.

The Appeal of Self-Collaring

Several factors contribute to the appeal and popularity of self-collaring among submissives:

Autonomy and Independence: Self-collaring allows submissives to take control of their narrative, emphasising their autonomy in the journey of submission. It empowers them to define their identity on their own terms.

Self-Validation: Wearing a collar can serve as a tangible reminder of self-worth and the value of their submissive identity, even in the absence of a dominant partner.

Community and Belonging: A collar can help submissives feel connected to the broader BDSM community, reinforcing their sense of belonging and identity within a supportive network of like-minded individuals.

Reasons for Self-Collaring

The reasons behind self-collaring can be deeply personal and varied:

Exploring Identity: Some individuals use self-collaring as a way to explore and affirm their submissive identity, particularly when they are new to the BDSM scene.

Healing and Recovery: For those recovering from a previous dynamic or relationship, self-collaring can be a step towards healing, allowing them to reclaim their sense of self and agency.

Spiritual or Ritualistic Significance: For some, self-collaring holds spiritual or ritualistic significance, representing a commitment to personal rituals or a deeper connection to their submissive journey.

Controversies Surrounding Self-Collaring

Despite its growing acceptance, self-collaring remains controversial within some segments of the BDSM community. Key points of contention include:

Tradition vs. Modern Practice: Traditionalists argue that collars should be bestowed by a dominant as part of a consensual power exchange. They believe that self-collaring undermines this tradition and its significance.

Authenticity and Validity: Some question the authenticity and validity of self-collaring, viewing it as less meaningful or legitimate compared to collars given by a dominant.

Misinterpretation: There is a concern that self-collaring could be misinterpreted by others within the community, leading to confusion about the nature of the individual's relationships and dynamics.

Addressing the Controversies

Those who support self-collaring offer several counterarguments:

Evolution of Practices: BDSM practices evolve over time, and self-collaring is a reflection of the diverse ways people explore and express their kinks and identities. Just as societal norms shift, so do the norms within subcultures.

Personal Meaning: The meaning of a collar is deeply personal. For some, self-collaring holds profound significance and is a powerful act of self-acknowledgement and pride. The individual's intention and understanding of the collar can be just as meaningful as any external validation.

Inclusivity and Acceptance: Embracing self-collaring promotes inclusivity within the BDSM community, allowing space for individuals with different dynamics, experiences, and needs. It fosters a more accepting environment where various forms of consensual expression are valued.

The Importance of Communication and Consent

In all BDSM practices, clear communication and consent are paramount. Self-collaring, like any other aspect of BDSM, should be approached with mindfulness and respect for personal boundaries and the dynamics of the community. For those who choose to self-collar, it is essential to communicate their choice and its meaning to potential partners and the community to avoid misunderstandings.

Self-collaring is a multifaceted practice within the BDSM community that highlights the diversity and complexity of submissive identities. While it challenges traditional views, it also empowers individuals to honour their own journeys and embrace their submissive roles in a deeply personal way. Understanding and respecting the reasons behind self-collaring can foster a more inclusive and supportive community, where all forms of consensual expression are valued.

Ultimately, the significance of self-collaring, like any other BDSM practice, lies in the meaning and intent behind it. Whether seen as a radical act of self-love or a controversial deviation from tradition, self-collaring invites us to consider the evolving nature of submission and the myriad ways people find fulfilment and connection within the BDSM landscape. By embracing the diversity of experiences and expressions within the community, we can create a more accepting and understanding environment for all.

Nicholas Jardine 13/06/2024