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Online Grooming

Updated: Apr 3

What is online grooming?

When we're talking specifically about online grooming, this is normally when someone makes friends with you online and then, when you trust them, they then use you for personal gain.

Online Grooming
Online Grooming

Navigating the Hazards of Single-Source Advice in the Online BDSM Community.

Safeguarding Your Journey

The online world has opened up new avenues for exploring interests and passions, including the BDSM lifestyle.

However, with this increased accessibility comes the risk of encountering predatory individuals who prey on the naive and inexperienced.

This article aims to shed light on the dangers of relying solely on advice from an individual in the online BDSM community and emphasises the importance of seeking input from a diverse group of sources.

We will also discuss essential safety measures to protect yourself from predatory behaviour while engaging in the BDSM lifestyle online.

The Pitfalls of Trusting a Single Source Online

When entering into BDSM, seeking advice from a single source online can lead to various pitfalls. Such advice may not reflect a well-rounded understanding of the community's principles and values, potentially exposing newcomers to misleading information or even harmful practices.

Predators can easily masquerade as experienced and knowledgeable individuals to exploit those eager to explore their desires and boundaries.

The Dangers of Online Predators

Predators in the online BDSM community can be anyone, irrespective of their gender, role (dominant or submissive), or appearance.

They skilfully manipulate and groom newcomers, using various tactics to gain their trust and establish control over them.

Some of the dangers of online predatory behaviour include:

Information gathering:

As part of their online grooming they gain as much information about you to utilise when they make their first move. Knowing your story provides them information on how to engage with you.

Emotional Manipulation:

Predators often use emotional manipulation to break down boundaries and make their targets vulnerable to exploitation.

Coercion and Blackmail:

Inexperienced individuals may be coerced into engaging in activities they are not comfortable with or blackmailed with compromising information they shared in good faith.

Unsafe Practices:

Predators may encourage inexperienced individuals to participate in risky or dangerous activities without proper knowledge or consent.


Some individuals may create fake personas or profiles to deceive newcomers, leading to misleading advice or unsafe interactions.

Privacy and Security Concerns:

Sharing personal information with unknown individuals can lead to privacy breaches and security risks.

Protecting Yourself from Online Predatory Behaviour

Validate Information:

Cross-reference the advice you receive online with multiple sources. Engage with reputable websites, forums, and communities with a strong track record of promoting safety and consent.

Practice Anonymity:

In the early stages of exploring the BDSM lifestyle, maintain a level of anonymity. Avoid sharing personal information such as your real name, address, or workplace with strangers online.

Exercise Caution with Private Media:

Be cautious about sharing explicit or compromising photos or videos, as they can be misused by malicious individuals.

Set Boundaries:

Clearly define your limits and communicate them assertively with potential online partners. Stand firm on your boundaries and walk away from anyone who disregards them.

Use Video Calls:

If you decide to move beyond text-based communication with someone you've met online, consider using video calls to verify their identity and build trust.

Trust Your Instincts:

If something feels off or uncomfortable during an online interaction, trust your instincts and disengage from the conversation.

Report Suspicious Behaviour:

If you encounter predatory behaviour online, report it to the platform administrators or moderators immediately. Many communities have guidelines in place to address such issues promptly.

The BDSM lifestyle can be a deeply enriching journey for those who approach it with care, consent and respect. However, as with any online community, it is crucial to be vigilant and protect yourself from potential predators who exploit the naive and inexperienced.

Relying solely on advice from one person online can leave you vulnerable to misleading information and dangerous situations.

Seek input from a diverse group of sources, trust your instincts and prioritise your safety and well-being.

By staying informed, setting clear boundaries and reporting any suspicious behaviour, you can enjoy a fulfilling and safe exploration of the BDSM lifestyle in the online world.

Nicholas Jardine 28/07/2023